I can't believe it has been a month since I last updated. (I do remember saying I was going to blog more frequently.) This past month or so has been one of those elusive seasons of contentment and peace that are impossible to attain by striving, but occasionally (refreshingly) sneak up on us. And it has been good.
But especially the last few days, God seems to have kicked the joy in my heart up a notch. I have been feeling more and more acutely His outrageous, unfathomable
goodness. He has blessed me with a wonderful family, encouraging friends, education, the freedom to choose and pursue exactly what I wanted to do for a career (and I am doing it), a comfortable home in an interesting city, an over-abundance of nutritious things to eat, good health, coffee :) , fleece blankets, my cat, the technology of digital cameras and email to enable closer connections with far-off people. And He has blessed me with the really big thing: His forgiveness and mercy and love and covenantal relationship. He pours forth blessing, He lavishes love. He paints the big picture and the details.
I recognize that my blessings are the answers to the prayers that have been poured out on my behalf by loved ones. Maybe God has not answered these in the way we expected, but in His wisdom "the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." (Romans 8:26). So to those who have been praying for me, "thank you" just does not seem enough, but thank you anyway.
But sadly, one of the reasons I am able to appreciate and recognize God's goodness in my life is by witnessing so much brokenness in other's lives. Poverty, violence, despair, sickness, addiction are so close to me and to all of us, no matter how desperately we try to keep them at bay. I feel so limited in what I can do to help, so instead I numb myself to the suffering. How I need to learn to mourn with those who mourn. How I need to learn to be the eyes and ears and lips and hands and feet of Jesus for those who have no hope.
Because we
do have hope.
"Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel,
'My way is hidden from the LORD, and my right is disregarded by my God'?
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength...
But you, Israel, My servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, My friend;
You whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you,
'You are My servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off';
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand...
When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst,
I the LORD will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them.
I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys.
I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water...
that they may see and know, may consider and understand together,
that the hand of the LORD has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it."
--Isaiah 40:27-29, 41:8-10,17-18,20.
Come, Lord Jesus. How we need You.
