Praying Boldly

I have recently felt challenged by a couple of articles I read, concerning prayer and singleness. Candice Watters addresses the "qualifiers" we so often attach to our prayers in regard to marriage, so that in the end they show no trust at all in God's sovereignty or His mercy. Carolyn McCulley describes the experience she has had in a group of women who have dedicated themselves to regular, corporate prayer for God to provide husbands for them (note that Carolyn remains single, but the group has generally seen great "results").

I referred a few days ago, to the work of the Holy Spirit in shaping and growing my faith through my past decade or so of singleness. One means which God has used to sustain and grow my faith has been a wonderful group of Christian sisters, all vaguely connected to my work, who met regularly for prayer and Bible study. Many of the members were single, while a few were married.

One thing which I noticed about our prayers was that, despite our closeness, we tended to refer infrequently to the (prolonged, unwanted) singleness of many of our members. Occasionally, when one or more of us were feeling particularly lonely and despairing, we would ask for prayer concerning our singleness. But quite often, it was left unaddressed, like the proverbial elephant in the room, in deference to prayers for more "urgent" things like family members' health (spiritual or physical), traveling mercies, guidance in career choices.

Many, many of our prayers were answered through the years. Yet all of the women who were single when the group began meeting, remain single. That group has now dissolved for geographic reasons (most of the former members have moved away from St. Louis). So I wonder, did God have some special purpose in keeping me and so many of my friends single for so many years? Or have we brought this on ourselves through our lack of faith, our failure to ask... seek... knock persistently?

On the other hand, where does "praying boldly" end, and "name it and claim it" begin? Does dedicating so much time to praying for husbands, rather than, say, protection for the persecuted church, or world evangelization, or an end to poverty or war or hunger... does that indicate faith, or marriage-idolatry?

I'm still mulling these things over. I think my favorite line from the movie Shadowlands (I have no idea whether C.S. Lewis actually ever said this or not), sums up my understanding of the "working" of prayer: "Prayer doesn't change God. It changes me."